How they say it

“Hi, you gained a lot of weight!”
“Hey, what happened to your skin?”

These are the comments I can expect to hear when seeing relatives I haven’t seen in a while, as if I’m being greeted and judged in the same line. While I appreciate their concern for my well-being, I can’t help but feel uncomfortable and insecure. I usually laugh it off, believing it’s not worth it to express my discomfort- so I decided to communicate what I wish I could say in a different way. As a looped, composited video work, How they say it (2023) reimagines this issue.

While this work specifically refers to the Filipino-American experience of myself and others, it can apply to anyone who has heard the same disheartening comments about their skin, weight, and so on. By sharing the emotions of the receiving end, I hope those who make these comments can better understand the impact of their words and how they say it.