Worn

The confusion that comes from anxiety is represented by a maze. Mazes are complicated to navigate and can serve as a prime example of how it feels when we are anxious about our future. We don’t know what will come up, and we don’t know how to deal with the uncertainty. 

I don’t know what it is exactly, but when I am letting my guard down and my mind wanders, it loves to wander into the darker side of thought. “Am I good enough for the people around me”? “How has what I’ve done affected those people”? “Do people notice or care about what I do”? All these questions cause this physical discomfort across my body, from my molars to the knuckles in my fingers. This sensation is what inspired this art piece, but this is what I think of when I think of depression. The static of the dark areas in your mind becomes numbing and at a certain point, if you get low enough, you just let it consume you. The apathy and numbness of a mind that’s given up ends in something that feels like empty TV static. The dwelling on my past and the scanning for errors causes a discomfort and a numbness that I can only describe as a white noise. For me, that is what I understand depression to be, and that is why it is portrayed as static.

With the many demands of everyday life, there is an undeniable pressure that comes with being a student, or an employee or employer, or a part-time volunteer, or a single parent, or anything that adds more responsibilities and uses more time in your life. For me, the high cost of living in the Bay has caused a need to have a good job, and I need to stay in school to finish my degree (to get that higher paying job), and I am strongly compelled to be a leader at my church, and all this adds up to being constantly under the scrutiny or others, and even more so the need to be worth it to myself. But it is this pressure from external sources in the present which causes the feeling that there is something always pressing at me from all sides.

walk forward through the canvases to proceed.

Worn displays the sensations of someone who is bombarded with the daily stresses of life. Anxiety, depression, and pressure are all physical reactions to the events and states illustrated by this piece.

The confusion that comes from anxiety is represented by a maze. Mazes are complicated to navigate and can serve as a prime example of how it feels when we are anxious about our future. We don’t know what will come up, and we don’t know how to deal with the uncertainty. 

With the many demands of everyday life, there is an undeniable pressure that comes with being a student, or an employee or employer, or a part-time volunteer, or a single parent, or anything that adds more responsibilities and uses more time in your life. For me, the high cost of living in the Bay has caused a need to have a good job, and I need to stay in school to finish my degree (to get that higher paying job), and I am strongly compelled to be a leader at my church, and all this adds up to being constantly under the scrutiny or others, and even more so the need to be worth it to myself. But it is this pressure from external sources in the present which causes the feeling that there is something always pressing at me from all sides.
 
I don’t know what it is exactly, but when I am letting my guard down and my mind wanders, it loves to wander into the darker side of thought. “Am I good enough for the people around me”? “How has what I’ve done affected those people”? “Do people notice or care about what I do”? All these questions cause this physical discomfort across my body, from my molars to the knuckles in my fingers. This sensation is what inspired this art piece, but this is what I think of when I think of depression. The static of the dark areas in your mind becomes numbing and at a certain point, if you get low enough, you just let it consume you. The apathy and numbness of a mind that’s given up ends in something that feels like empty TV static. The dwelling on my past and the scanning for errors causes a discomfort and a numbness that I can only describe as a white noise. For me, that is what I understand depression to be, and that is why it is portrayed as static.

walk forward through the canvases to proceed.

Worn displays the sensations of someone who is bombarded with the daily stresses of life. Anxiety, depression, and pressure are all physical reactions to the events and states illustrated by this piece.